Felis Catus
by Reiji Neko Mitsukai
Summary: Lex wakes up to find himself very... different. He must discover what caused this odd transformation. But can he get help when even Clark can't recognize him?
1. Meow

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in Smallville or in the Superman comics and whatnot.

Author's Note: Trial-running a little idea here. Curious to see how it'll turn out.

_Chapter One: Meow_

Pain.

That was the first thing he noticed as he slowly came to. A throbbing headache that blossomed in his head the moment of his first stirring.

'… _Oh… God…_'

He knew from experience that it was best to refrain from moving with- what he assumed was- a concussion-caused headache. He could smell an overwhelming scent, oddly familiar and somewhat comforting. So he lay still as he felt the pounding gradually fade away, an indeterminable amount of time passing before he deemed it safe to open his eyes again.

Darkness. Complete and utter darkness.

_He was blind._

He quickly lifted his head to feel something relatively soft bump against the back of his head. Felt like cloth. At the same time, he saw a glimmer of light some distance away. As soon as he ducked his head back down the light disappeared.

He was relieved to learn he wasn't blind, but was now concerned he seemed to be in a large bag. That, and he couldn't remember what he was doing in it in the first place. He assumed he was kidnapped _again_, held hostage _again_, then knocked out and dumped at an out-of-the-way, middle-of-nowhere place. _Again_.

He could think about it later. Where there was light, there was a hole. Where there was a hole, there was a possible escape. He began to crawl forward, the light appearing again as the fabric was lifted. He wasn't sure, but something felt… different about himself. He couldn't place it right away- a side effect of the concussion, perhaps?

The light grew bigger the closer he got to it; the dim illumination allowed him to see that he was crawling through what appeared to be a tunnel.

_Step into the light_, a voice called to him in his mind, and it was several moments before he placed it.

Stupid movie.

What would he find outside? Cityscape? Corn? He didn't know how long he was out; he could still be in Lowell County, or not even in Kansas. Only one way to find out.

His head was the first to leave the tunnel, and first noticed the breeze as it struck his face. It wasn't cold, but wasn't hot either. A nice, cool, refreshing breeze; one that helped him become more alert and aware of his surroundings.

And right now, that was grass.

Either he had gotten smaller, or someone has been neglecting the lawn. He stood up, and the blades nearly came up to his chin. They seemed to be bigger; broader, more pronounced. The ground seemed a lot closer, too. And he could smell a lot of things; they were all a bit faint, but familiar. And he could hear something scurrying to his right, brushing against the grass several yards away. He turned his head to see what it was, and saw a mouse stop and stare at him, its beady black eyes watching him intently. But that wasn't what alarmed him.

The thing was big enough to almost reach his shins.

That settled it. He shrunk.

He seriously began to reconsider leaving the tunnel; it was relatively safe, and the only shelter he had at the moment. If a mouse was almost as tall as his shins, he hated to think how big a fox or coyote would be. However, if there were other people around…

He stepped out completely and immediately felt the breeze on his hindquarters. He closed his eyes. He _really _didn't want to look at himself to find out. Suspecting was bad enough.

Great. He was shrunk _and_ naked.

Maybe he didn't want to find people _just_ yet…

Was there clothes in the tunnel or the bag? He doubted it, since he didn't feel any in there. If anything, he could use the bag itself to cover himself. It wasn't much, but it was something. He doubted there was anyone nearby anyway, but he still had to try.

He tried to call out "Is anyone here?" but stopped as soon as what sounded like a squeak escaped him. Apparently his voice was out as well. Perhaps he was drugged? That would explain why he felt so odd…

The mouse shot off like a bullet the second he made a noise, running for its life. No surprise, really. He tried to speak again.

"Mreow."

He froze. That did _not_ just come from him…

He tried again, and got the same thing.

He couldn't believe it. He was meowing. Who was he; Lex Luthor turned CatMan? Could be worse, he figured as he reached up to wipe his face in disbelief; he could have fur and a tail…

It wasn't a hand that touched his face.

He quickly jerked it away to look at it. There was no fur on it, besides perhaps what would be best described as peach-fuzz. He could clearly see where the joints of retracted extensions were pulled into the paw. He experimentally drew them out. Just as he suspected- five claws, each one curved and wickedly sharp. He turned his head to look at the rest of him.

His mind had since settled into a sense of mute horror and shock, but underneath it was a strange sensation of wonder and fascination. Just as he suspected, he sat on his hind legs, his practically furless dark body held up by his arms- forelegs- whatever. A long, skinny, and likewise furless tail had curled up along what would have been his left thigh. Slowly his mind formed it.

He, Lex Luthor, had been turned- not into CatMan, but a cat. A hairless one, of course. So fitting.

Still bald; still naked. Just a cat.

Great. Just great.

This just _sucked_.

_To Be Continued…_

Author's note: And so it begins. Tell me what you think; I'd like to hear if you guys have any ideas as to what's going to happen next.


	2. Survival

Disclaimer: I don't really own anybody in this one.

Author's Note: Second chapter. Poor Lex.

_Chapter Two: Survival_

Panic began to take over. He tried to squelch the feeling, but it was a fight he wasn't sure which side he was on.

He was a _cat_. A small, hairless cat that was probably the prey of around twenty percent of Kansas wildlife. In the middle of nowhere. Where no one was around to help him; to even know he was _here_.

He was going to die.

'_No; get a hold of yourself, Lex! Just think! There has to be a way out of this mess. Get a plan; set priorities. It's worked for all your other problems; this one should be **no different**._'

Gradually, his panic was forced down to a worry and from a worry to an anxiety. His self-control nearly returned, he steeled himself. Now wasn't the time to panic- it would only hinder his efforts towards what was necessary: surviving.

First: identifying his location. He looked around, but all he could see was grass. A tree was some distance away; he guessed around ten feet, by human standards. His sharp feline eyesight allowed him to see the leaves fluttering in the breeze, each movement standing out and drawing his interest. The cat mind at work, he imagined. A dark mass of cloth sat behind him- the bag, or whatever he was in when he first woke up. That was about it.

The strategist in him began to work, and he walked off towards the tree. Greater height meant greater visibility; if he could see more, he may be able to identify his surroundings. However, he wasn't sure he'd be able to actually climb it. He had climbed trees a couple of times when he was a kid- his father didn't approve, but Pamela was all for it; she let him climb sometimes when Lionel wasn't home. But he wasn't a cat exactly- he was a human mind in a cat's body; a human mind that had no idea how to use what it was equipped with. Climbing would be risky at best.

But it was a risk he was willing to take. Especially since his survival required it.

It took him several strides to adjust to the new movements. He then increased his pace to a trot, receiving a slight thrill from how fast he seemed to be going so close the ground; the grass tickled his chin as he passed. He wasn't even running yet; he found himself looking forward to the experience.

He reached the tree and slowed to a stop. It looked even taller and more foreboding than it had in the distance. He suddenly began to doubt his small claws were going to be able to hold his weight on a vertical surface. The tree forked about three times his height up, but he doubted he'd be able to reach that far. He felt his hope deflate.

Then he noticed the tree stump five feet away.

He hurried towards it, stopping a foot away. From what he knew about felines, this jump should be no problem. It was well over his head, but perhaps if he backed up a bit…

He took a step back, then, with the brief thought that he'd only seen cats do this and didn't really study to see how, launched himself up with his back legs.

He never would have guessed that something that small could hold such a feeling. The moment he tightened his hind legs… it was unlike anything he had ever felt before. The unrestrained grace and agility, the perfect balance and confidence…

… The untapped _power_…

Later on, after the whole ordeal ended and he managed to return to his human form, he would try to accurately describe what that moment felt like. Each time he would deem it incorrect and discard it.

All four feet landed on the edge of the stump, his precarious position still affording him the balance he needed to remain standing. Two dainty steps (he shuddered to think his steps "dainty", but nonetheless that's what they were) forward with his front feet allowed him to turn to see the area behind him, where he had been. And felt his little kitty heart stop.

_Oh no. No no no no no._

His expression translated onto a cat's face would have been almost amusing to almost all cat lovers everywhere. The wide-eyed shock was plain as could be, his dilated eyes huge as he took in the scene illuminated by the pale light. He now recognized the cloth, but he didn't want to believe that that was what he was seeing.

Without thinking, he jumped down and hurried back to the "tunnel" exit, almost sliding to a stop as he neared. His mind running ahead at the complications this would cause, he sniffed the fabric. It was still there; that unknown yet comforting scent he first smelled when he woke up. He circled the rumpled fabric counterclockwise, stopping every few steps to smell it again. Same scent, this time with the slightest taint of something else. The taint grew stronger and stronger as he moved, until he reached the knot that told him what he had found. Here, the scent was at it's strongest; there was no mistaking it now. He felt all his internal organs drop as he took a few steps back.

He smelled _his_ cologne. On _his_ tie.

These were _his clothes_.

No no no no no… 

That meant that what he smelled when he first woke up was him- that was why it had comforted him, since cats are comforted by their own scents. Never mind the fact that the smell came from his clothes; that he wasn't even _supposed_ to _be_ a cat…

He had to get out of here. Find people that could help him; people he could trust… But how would they even _recognize_ him? He was a hairless cat, for God's sake! Unless he could find a way to pick up a pen…

He turned back towards the stump, making his way towards it again with the intention of jumping up to further identify his surroundings. Chances were pretty good he was in the middle of a field with no one around for miles, but he still wanted to find people; perhaps something to eat as well. He wouldn't go hunting for mice. Not a chance. Even though he was in a field full of them…

With his previous grace he jumped up onto the tree stump, this time facing the direction opposite of his suit. It was a stunned surprise that first struck him as he looked at what he saw. He couldn't believe his luck. Just when he felt everything was going wrong, fate threw him this. An ecstatic whoop escaped him as another meow at the sight.

There, sitting in the not-too-far distance, was the Kent farm.

_To Be Continued…_

Author's Note: Wow, you guys really do like this story! Thanks for the reviews, and feel free to tell all your Lex and/or Smallville-loving friends about it!


	3. Discovery

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone ever on the show.

Author's note: Readers demanded it, and I actually managed to crank out another chapter! This one's almost five times longer! YES!

_Chapter Three: Discovery_

It had started out like any other day. He had gotten up rather early (up with the roosters, as his mother always said), changed clothes in the blink of an eye (quite literally), and had sped through his chores; all before breakfast. He was about to speed back to the house for some pancakes, but had remembered he had left his homework up in the loft last night and ran to go get it. He had walked by the piled up blanket on the old couch and had only glanced at it before moving to his desk and gathering his books. It wasn't until then it had registered in his mind what he had seen in that glance, and he froze momentarily before setting his books down again and returning to the couch. Sure enough, there it was- nestled in the mass of blankets, its head and shoulders exposed but the rest buried underneath the cloth.

Clark Kent had never seen a hairless cat before, and didn't quite know what to think.

It blinked.

He blinked.

It disentangled itself from the blankets and stepped forward, its blue-gray eyes watching him eagerly. It sat down with a meow, its tail curling up against its hindquarters. It was almost a bluish-dark gray, with no other color on it- not even white. The feline seemed to be covered in an almost peach fuzz-like down, but didn't have whiskers. Its ears seemed to be huge, as did its eyes. It was an odd little creature, but cute in a rather weird way.

"Hey there." He spoke to it quietly, in case he scared it off. However, it seemed tame; it continued to look at him with its big eyes. He carefully reached down, hoping it would let him pet it. It watched his hand descend towards it, and he could have sworn he had seen a thoughtful look come into its eyes, like it was deliberating what to do with the situation. Finally, when Clark's hand was close enough, it nudged his palm with its head, signaling it was okay to pet it. It's eyes closed and he thought he saw it smile in pleasure.

Clark smiled. It might not be the prettiest cat in the world, but at least it was friendly. He continued to pet it as he thought about what he was going to do with it. His parents might let him keep it, but they wouldn't want it in the house until it had been to a vet. But it didn't look like he could leave it outside either; it didn't have any fur, and was left exposed to the elements. The poor thing would suffer in the winter and summer. Luckily it was spring, so the weather was pretty mellow.

"Will you let me pick you up?" He figured it wouldn't be able to understand him- it was a cat, after all- but to his faint surprise, it stood up. He blinked again. "Okay… hang on…" He gently lifted the kitty up, one hand under its ribcage and the other behind its back legs. It tensed, and he quickly brought it to his chest to make it feel safe. Several moments passed before the cat relaxed and he deemed it safe to walk. He felt its tail wrap lightly around his wrist as he started down the stairs, its claws poking through his shirt. He paid it no mind. Even if the cat deliberately tried to hurt him, it wouldn't do it any good. "Don't worry; I won't drop you," he assured it quietly.

It stayed still throughout the trek to the house, its eyes wandering around as they moved. Upon reaching the kitchen door he paused to consider his next feat, then carefully shifted his hold on the cat again to free one hand. It tensed, and he feared it would squirm and jump down. With a quick movement he opened the door and pulled it just enough to put his foot in the opening, returning his hold to the cat and slipping through the door.

"Done with your chores, son?" came his father's voice.

Clark raised his head from the cat to see both his parents sitting at the table, coffee mugs in front of them and heads hidden behind newspapers. He beamed and said, "Yeah, but look what I found in the barn!"

Both papers went down simultaneously, Jonathan's eyes squinting a little while Martha just blinked upon seeing the strange creature. The elder Kent was the first to stand, his wife following immediately afterwards. "What is it?"

"A cat." He petted it a little, still holding it to his chest. It was now intently watching the approach of the two adults, who stopped a few feet away. Martha reached out with a tentative hand.

"Is it friendly?"

"Seems to be."

She lightly petted it and it rubbed against her hand a bit, but didn't close its eyes. She smiled at it. "I wonder if it's a boy or a girl."

Jonathan stepped forward. "I should be able to tell." He nodded towards Clark. "Turn it around."

_Lex's Perspective..._

Lex really didn't enjoy feeling Jonathan lift up his tail to look at his hind end. He squirmed a little, beginning to reconsider his idea that he should act like a normal cat. He had decided that for two reasons: to let the Kents get used to him before he scared them by acting human, and to gather information on his "disappearance". But this was just humiliating; his face would have been beet red if he had been able to blush.

"It's a boy," announced Jonathan as he let go of his tail. Clark turned him around and held him to his chest again, petting him with one hand. Lex felt himself relax and lean his head against the firm chest. He never realized being petted could feel so nice. It reminded him of the times soon after the meteor shower his mother let him sit on her lap and hold him, and she would stroke his now bald head and tell him that no matter what he looked like, she would always love him. Bringing back the memory only made him miss her more, but it was nice to have that feeling of acceptance.

Martha smiled and murmured "Kitten smitten" to herself when she recognized the expression on Clark's face. Of course, Lex could hear it quite clearly.

"Can we keep him?"

Jonathan studied the cat in Clark's arms. He clearly wasn't sure on what he thought about having it stay with them. The look he was giving both of the males before him gave away his slight disbelief. "Clark, it looks like a rat-"

It took a lot of willpower for Lex not to glare.

"-And we don't know anything about it; for all we know, it could have fleas."

Clark's look clearly stated he was far from convinced.

Super-son has super-vision. Right. "Besides, we'd be hard pressed to pay for the vet bill. And if we do keep him, we'd have to play it safe and have him neutered."

None of them noticed the cat's eyes get impossibly huge, the whites showing all around. They did notice, however, when he began to thrash and squirm wildly, surprising Clark so much he dropped him with a startled "Hey-!" The feline fell to the floor with the grace of a duck, failing to land on its feet and ending up as a heap. That didn't stop him, as he quickly got to all four feet and streaked out through the slightly ajar door, claws scratching against the hardwood floor, running at full panic speed to the barn.

Clark made a move to follow it, but his father put a restraining hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Clark. He'll be fine. Might go into hiding for a while, but fine."

Martha began to herd her son towards the table. "Go eat and get ready for school; your father and I can go look for him while you're gone."

Clark looked from his mother to his father, expression slightly horrified. "You can't be serious! We can't just have him neutered!"

"You're right," said Martha before her husband could say anything, looking at both of the males before her. "That's an exotic breed; they're very expensive cats. He has to belong to someone- there's no way someone would just let him be a stray."

Jonathan sighed, defeated. "Alright. He can stay. But we're putting up posters in case his owner is looking for him. And if someone does call, we have to give him up." The look he was giving Clark said that he was putting his foot down on the issue.

But the look didn't seem to faze him; instead, he almost grinned. "I'll ask Chloe to come and take a picture of him today, and get started on the poster during school."

His mother smiled and nodded, agreeing with him. "Great idea! Now, off to the kitchen," she ordered gently, ushering him towards the table. "You don't want to be late to school."

_Outside…_

The hairless cat streaked across the yard, running full-bore for the barn. He was so focused on getting away, he didn't take the time to admire how fast he was really going.

Tearing through the open doors, he bolted for the steps.

'_At least I'm not in China; at least I'm not in China; at least I'm not in China…!_'

Running up the steps as fast as he could, he scurried underneath the couch as soon as he reached the loft. He settled himself down in the middle, his heart pounding in his little ribcage and his mind fuming. What were they _thinking_!

Hardly a minute later he heard someone enter the barn, the footsteps traveling up the stairs to the loft. He felt his muscles bunch up as he tensed. Peering out from under the couch, he saw Clark's form climb up the stairs. Once he reached the top step, the booted feet stopped.

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty…"

Lex would have scoffed if he had been physically able to. Instead, a small puff of air left his feline nostrils as an undignified huff. This, unfortunately, kicked up the various layers of dust on the floor. As soon as he felt a tickling at his nose he instantly held his breath to keep the irritant out and keep his hiding place secret.

With a sigh the boots finally moved, clunking across the wood to the desk, then back to the stairs. A moment of hesitation followed before they started back down the stairs, the man-turned-cat intently watching and listening to the teen's retreat.

The clunking of boots on wood stairs finally ended, the more mute footsteps fading into the distance none too soon.

The feline quickly inhaled, resulting in a massive- but regrettably adorable- sneezing fit.

_At Smallville High…_

Chloe Sullivan sped into the Torch office, backpack slung over one shoulder and papers and one notebook in her arms. She started speaking as soon as she passed through the doorway.

"Sorry I'm late; I had to practically chase the science teacher down the hallways to get a word out of him."

Clark looked up from the computer screen he was intently studying as she dropped her backpack and books on the desk. "Hey Chloe; did you manage to get an actual interview out of him?"

She rolled her eyes before dusting off a bit of paper fringes off her lime green shirt. "Just barely. He kept walking off, and blurted out the answer to my last question just as he was trying to shut the door in my face…" She drifted off when she looked up to find the teen she thought she was talking to starting intently at the screen, his eyes narrowed in concentration. She sighed. The Clark Kent attention span strikes again.

With both hands on her hips she moved behind him, bending slightly to look closely at the screen. A picture of an odd-looking cat was displayed on a website, as well as a good amount of text she didn't really bother to read. The cat seemed to be hairless, an overall grayish-blue with white spots on its chest, chin, hindquarters, and one white foot. Its huge golden eyes were looking somewhere to the right of the camera, its large ears focused in the same direction. One of her eyebrows lowered slightly. Why on earth was Clark looking up information on hairless cats?

"Looking up pet ideas for Lex?" she guessed out loud.

He shook his head. "Found one of these in our barn this morning. Mom says it's one of those really rare breeds that are pretty valuable. So far it's looking like she's right."

Chloe found herself smiling at the ridiculousness of it. A half of a laugh escaped her. "You mean to tell me a cat that looks like an Austin Powers reject is not only expensive, but found at the Kent farm?"

He shrugged as he scrolled up on the site to check the breed name. Finding it, he scrolled back to where he was. "Well, he looks almost exactly like that, only with no white spots. His eyes are a different color too."

She took a step back, pointing at the screen. "This… this I have to see." She walked towards her computer and sat on the chair, logging in and opening her mail.

"Why don't you come over after school today?"

She leaned over in her seat to look at him funny. "Pardon?"

He leaned as well. "Well, I need to get a picture of him, and you just said 'this I have to see', so bring your camera with you."

A momentary silence and a blink. "Please don't tell me you've become that attached to a bald cat in this amount of time."

Another momentary pause, this one on Clark's behalf. "Actually, I need it to make a 'Found' poster. Mom thinks he belongs to someone and they're probably looking for him."

Chloe noted to herself that Clark neither denied nor admitted it, and stored that away in her mind for future reference. She returned to her computer and logged on to the Internet, typing in something in a search engine. "Probably a good idea anyway- getting the picture taken, I mean. Nobody's going to believe you had a… what was it again?"

He settled back in his chair as well, opening a word processor. "Sphynx."

"- A sphynx in your barn. We could even get you to pose with him." She grinned. "Wouldn't that be cute? I'm sure Lex would get a kick out of it."

She couldn't see him through the computers, but she was pretty sure he was smiling at least a little bit with the idea. "I'm sure he would, but I tried calling him last night, and he didn't answer."

"Try again when you get home; maybe he knows someone missing a cat." Her keyboard clacked for several seconds before she smiled again. "You've never had a pet, have you Clark?"

"No," came the reply. "Why?"

"Do you think you'll be able to actually let this one go? I mean, I can tell when you talk about him you really seem to like the furless furball."

A few moments of pondering, then "He's different. It's like… It's hard to explain."

"How about some examples then?"

"Well, when I asked him if I could pick him up, he stood up before I even reached for him. And when I took him to the house and Dad said we'd have to have him neutered if we kept him, he jumped out of my arms and ran out the door like he was scared. It's weird."

"So, it's like he can understand English."

"Yes! Exactly. Like he can understand English."

Chloe leaned back in her chair, her eyes rising to the ceiling. "Hmm. That is weird. Almost weird enough to deserve my attention."

"So you'll come with your camera?" came his voice, sounding hopeful. He typed the word "FOUND" in big bold letters on the top of the page.

She leaned forward a little and typed a few more keys. "Sure, Clark. I'll drive us back to your place after school, okay?"

The farmboy beamed. "Great! I'll have to call and let my parents know before we leave, though." Just in case there was something going on at home that Chloe shouldn't see.

She shrugged. "No problem. I'll let you use my phone."

_After school…_

The two teens walked up the steps of the loft, the smaller following the taller. Upon their entrance they both studied the area, looking for any sign of anything feline. Chloe let her eyes sweep over the floor, then suddenly shot forward towards the couch. Clark followed as she bent down, then straightened with something in her hand.

It was one of his mom's small plates, the remnants of some milk collecting at the bottom.

Clark let his eyes travel from the plate in Chloe's hands to the nearby couch.

Putting the two together, he kneeled on the floor on his hands and knees, bending down to peer underneath the couch.

Huge blue-gray eyes stared back at him, pupils dilated.

"Found him!"

Chloe kneeled down on the floor by him, blinking as her hair disturbed the dust on the floor. "Hey there little guy," she softly called to the kitty. "Come on out; we won't hurt you."

He just sunk lower to the floor, implying he wasn't going anywhere.

Clark shifted a little, feeling his leg beginning to turn cold from poor circulation. "We're not going to neuter you," he promised.

Chloe nodded as she saw the cat's head raise just a little. According to Clark, the very mentioning of "the big snip" was what sent the kitty into hiding in the first place, and since they figured he could understand English… "You're too expensive of a kitty to not belong to someone, and they _have_ to be looking for you, so the Kents _can't_ have you fixed."

Her logic seemed to work, as his head lifted from the floor a bit more, then he rose to all four feet and crept closer to the edge of the couch. He still looked warily from one teen to the other.

Clark slowly reached out towards the cautious kitty, ready to pull his hand back should the feline decide to strike. Not that it would hurt him- rather; he was worried that Chloe would see the lack of damage to his skin.

With a sniff of his hand, the cat stepped out from under the couch completely. Chloe beamed and raised her camera.

"Smile kitty!"

At the last second he raised his head, resulting in a picture-perfect pose.

Observing the picture on her camera, she nodded approvingly. "He takes good pictures." She raised her gaze to her two companions. "This is too good of an opportunity. I need to get a picture of you two together."

Clark just gave her a look.

"What?" she asked, defending herself. "It'll be great for my scrapbook!"

With a silent sigh, he reached down and gently picked up the cat, bringing him to his chest. Chloe smiled; it really was cute how gentle Clark could be with the frail-looking feline. For all his farm-built strength and (supposed) amazing feats, he wasn't just a cumbersome, well-muscled guy- like a teenage Hercules breaking pillars wherever he went- and seeing him cradling the cat just about made her melt.

Even though the non-human of the two looked like a rat.

A posed picture just wasn't good enough.

"So," she said as she pretended to play with the camera settings. "What're you going to name him?"

"He's not mine, Chloe. I can't just give him a new name."

She shrugged. "Well, you can't just keep calling him 'kitty' either."

He pondered this for a moment before accepting her line of reasoning. "Okay, but I've never named a pet before. What do _you_ think I should name him?"

The cat meowed at them.

She let her eyes wander up towards the barn roof, tapping her chin with her camera. "Well, seeing as how you've become rather attached to the little guy, you'll probably want the name to be something meaningful."

"So I take it 'Fluffy' is out of the question."

She giggled, despite herself. "Yeah, it would be. Maybe…" She slowly turned and stepped away a few paces, tapping the camera again. Then she suddenly turned around, one brow raised and a mischievous smile on her face. "Mr. Bigglesworth?"

Clark smiled, and looked down at the feline, who had his front paws up against his shirt. "It's cute, but I don't think he appreciates it…" With a flinch purely meant for show, he pulled the cat's front paws away, his shirt being pulled up by the claws in the process. The cat itself seemed to be glaring bloody murder at Chloe.

"You think of one then. He seems to like you; maybe he'll like your suggestions better."

"Besides 'Fluffy'."

"Besides 'Fluffy'."

His gaze lifted to the ceiling as he absently petted the cat, his mind wandering for a good name. After several moments, his eyes lit up and he looked at Chloe. "He's a Sphynx, isn't he? So I'll call him Pharaoh!"

She nodded. "Going with the whole Egyptian theme. Cool."

He smiled and looked down at the kitty. "What do you think?"

Even though it didn't look like it, Chloe was primed and ready for that moment. She quickly raised her camera and took the photo before Clark could look away. The sudden flash of light startled both him and the cat- Pharaoh- but the deed was done before anything could be done about it.

Grinning at her own impishness, she brought the new picture up onto the small screen. "Sorry Clark, but it was too cute to pass up." She stepped closer to him and turned the camera around to show the photo. "Personally, I think it's adorable."

_Lex's Perspective:_

The names were bad enough. Really, they were. "Fluffy"? "Mr. Bigglesworth"? Why didn't they just call him "Pansy" and let him lose in the dog pound?

Good ol' Clark. Lex knew he could count on him. "Pharaoh" wasn't his name, but it would be sufficient for the time being. At least until he could find a way to tell them who he really was.

He wasn't entirely sure if he agreed with the idea of a picture though. He would much rather just turn back to normal and forget this ever happened. If his father ever found out, he would _never_ let it go- not even until the day he died.

Although, he was curious to see what he looked like…

As Chloe brought the screen towards him, he craned his neck to the side to see better, and instantly realized how human of a move that really was. With the mental command of 'Quick- do something cat!' he put his nose against the screen and sniffed it.

He heard Clark laugh- the sound rather loud to him, making his ears twitch. "That's right Pharaoh; that's you."

Backing his head away from the screen, he could now see the image.

He really _did_ look like a rat.

"Well, I guess it's not _so_ bad…" came Clark's adamant agreement.

She smiled victoriously as she held the camera towards her, shutting it off. She suddenly tilted her head to one side as she had a thought. "Speaking of Pharaohs, weren't you going to call Lex?"

Clark suddenly lifted his head from the cat. "You're right! I should go do that now." He moved towards the stairs, Chloe following him.

Being carried was an… odd experience. Not only was it the bouncing sensation that came with every step- which was magnified with the stairs from the loft- but being surrounded by soft fabric and the underlying warm muscles was so… comforting. He just felt so secure. It was a bit disconcerting, once he threw in the fact that it was _Clark_ that was carrying him. Being this physically close to him- doubled with the fact that he was a cat- he could actually _smell_ Clark. Hay, dirt, engine oil, a tad bit of manure, a hint of apple pie, and… something else. He couldn't quite tell what it was. He was fairly certain he hadn't smelled it before; then again, he had never been able to smell quite this well before.

He blinked as they moved outside, his eyes quickly adjusting to the light. They entered the yellow farmhouse through the kitchen door, Clark moving towards the phone. It wasn't until he reached it that he realized the slight dilemma: two arms, one cat, one phone.

Chloe stepped up to his rescue. "I'll take him," she offered.

Smiling his thanks, he gently passed Lex to her, making sure she had him securely before turning towards the phone.

Chloe smelled a lot different than Clark did. She smelled nice. Apple shampoo, the faint scent of flowers- perhaps left from a perfume a few days ago- coffee, fabric softener… and something that was familiar. From when he smelled his own clothes. There was a similar scent that he couldn't quite place.

Chloe began to pet him- cautiously, as her hold on him wasn't quite as firm and sure as Clark's had. She was holding him much like he had- one arm underneath his haunches holding him up, while the other was around his back and petting him. His front paws were just above the collar of her shirt, leaning against her chest. A rather favorable position to be in, from the male point of view. Although he wouldn't be able to tell her that without getting slapped in the face.

"You know, from this close, he really is kinda cute," she admitted.

Clark continued to dial, smiling.

So did Lex.

Finishing the number, the farmboy stood waiting as the line rang. After several rings, his brow furrowed as Lex's voicemail picked up. He hung up the phone. "He's not answering"

"Maybe he's at a meeting," Chloe suggested. "I hear those can be pretty long and brutal."

Lex idly wondered how many messages he had on his phone. Probably a handful from his father, the first to complain about something, then the rest chewing him out for avoiding him and not answering his calls. Perhaps some from associates and business partners, and one from Clark for sure. He wondered if someone had been walking by his suit and heard his phone ringing, probably thinking they were loosing their minds-

Wait.

His phone.

_His suit!_

It didn't take much squirming to free himself from Chloe's arms, her dropping him with a startled gasp. She and Clark both jumped as he headed for the door, following him.

"What's the matter, Pharaoh?"

He scratched at the door. Clark reached over and opened it, Lex dashing outside.

"Maybe he has to go?"

"Go where?" he asked before following.

She rolled her eyes. "Not the _where _kind of 'go', Clark!" she called after him before running to catch up.

They stopped at the driveway as Lex continued to run. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw they weren't following. He stopped and meowed at them urgently.

They didn't seem to get it.

So he ran back to the male teen's legs, bit down on his jeans- being careful to avoid his leg- and tugged fiercely.

Startled, Clark jumped back slightly, taking Lex with him. The gravel shifted underneath his paws, almost making him lose his footing. Recovering from the sudden movement, he released Clark's pant leg and ran for a few paces, stopping to turn and meow at them again.

"I think he wants us to follow!" He told Chloe, who snapped out of her stunned silence from the sudden attack on Clark's jeans. They began to run after him, and he started again, not running, but going at what was more like a fast trot.

Lex began to quickly think. Was this the way he came from? How far was it? Would his clothes still be there? If they weren't, he was in big trouble- it would be a few more days before he was discovered missing.

Chloe huffed behind Clark. "Where are we going?"

"I don't know," he answered as he jogged behind the cat a few feet.

Making the trip in the dark while walking took maybe ten minutes. Factor in his size, it was pretty good time for the distance covered. Now running in broad daylight, it took only half the time. Coming upon the hill, he saw the tree and the stump nearby. He increased his speed to jump up on the stump, leaving Clark and Chloe behind. Glancing over his shoulder to make sure they were still coming, he turned to observe the area in front of him.

Immense relief washed over him as he spied the pile of clothing ten feet away. He turned towards the two following him and meowed. They were catching up quickly, Chloe falling behind a little bit with the slope of the hill.

He turned again and jumped down from the stump, running over to the pant leg of his suit. Now if only he could locate his pockets…

Meanwhile, Clark and- eventually- Chloe appeared over the hill. He came to an abrupt stop when he noticed the clothes. A sense of dread sunk into his stomach.

The teen reporter huffed up beside him, stopping to put her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath.

"Chloe…"

A few more gasps. "… Yeah Clark?…"

"Look."

The tone of his voice made her look up. She froze, blinking at the sight of the piled up suit. The cat they had followed was now halfway buried in the cloth, wiggling a little bit as he apparently tried to pull something out. With a final heave he emerged, something black and square in his mouth. She squinted. "What is that?…"

They started towards the scene, watching as Lex practically dove into the folds again. Clark kneeled to pick up the first object as Chloe stood beside him, watching as the cat seemed to struggle with something. He turned it over.

"It's a wallet…"

Chloe's brow furrowed a little bit, seeing the hairless feline pulling something by a skinny extension. She moved around Clark, kneeling beside the cat and reaching for the object, pulling it out the rest of the way. She rolled the object in her hands.

It was a cell phone. With the LuthorCorp logo on the front.

She felt her heart jump. "Clark…?"

He was just about ready to open the leather wallet when she spoke. He paused and looked up. "What is it?"

She flipped open the phone and looked at the display. Her eyes widened and her face fell.

Lex Luthor

7 missed calls

"Clark… This is Lex's phone…" She turned it towards him so he could see the digital lettering inside.

Clark felt his heart skip a beat. The dread in his stomach buried itself lower. He looked at the wallet in his hands, suddenly not so sure he wanted to open it and find out. If it was Lex's, chances were he wasn't at a meeting. The thought of the alternative made him feel a little sick.

Reluctantly, he unfolded the leather, only to stare in mute horror at the mug shot on the driver's license inside.

Lex Luthor's face stared back at him.

_To Be Continued…_

Author's note: Hopefully that will tide you over until I can come up with another chapter. Hopefully some insight on the Clark/Lex friendship in the next one, as well as Jonathan learning that they won't be needing a litter box for the new cat.


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